TAROT - Horror Movie Review
Movie reviews are not something I do a lot of, I’m more of a book girly to be fair. But on a recent flight I saw the new-ish (2024) horror movie ‘TAROT’ pop up and thought, as a professional Tarot reader, that I’d give it a watch and see what they did with it.
It wasn’t long before I had a notes document on my phone filled with my thoughts and frustrations about the Tarot Horror movie and a review post seemed the best place to put them.
SYNOPSIS
“A group of friends unwittingly unleash an unspeakable evil trapped within a cursed deck of tarot cards. One by one, they come face to face with fate, racing against death to escape the future foretold in their readings.”
NOTE: THERE WILL BE SPOILERS ABOUT THE TAROT HORROR MOVIE (2024) IN THIS REVIEW
I won’t be giving a full blow by blow, nor writing out the entire movie. I just want to mention a few main points of either intrigue or irritation.
This movie begins with a group of friends, in an isolated location for a birthday party.
They go looking for booze in this house that’s not theirs, open a locked door - and find a bunch of divination items including a divination cloth, tarot deck and some old astrological stuff. Typical horror movie premise and already at 11 mins in, we’re getting into the tarot stuff so the pacing is nice.
Of course it’s a random white chick named Haley who knows tarot and astrology.
I love that they clarify the common mispronunciation of Tarot with an emphasis on the T at the end, and let the audience know it's Tarot (rhymes with grow).
The deck is supposedly hand painted which is cool in and of itself, and to be fair it looks pretty awesome too and I would love a copy for my own tarot library.
I did some digging and found out only a few cards were made for the movie, but the designer was Richard Wells who does a lot TV and Film stuff.
The main character Haley says it's an unspoken rule that you don’t use someone else's deck. I'm glad she said it because I was certainly thinking it. But of course, it wouldn’t be a horror movie if we didn’t break a rule like that so she goes ahead and uses the random deck anyway. Saying it's bad luck to use someone’s deck, but caving to peer pressure in like 2 seconds flat. Psssht.
When they set themselves up for the tarot readings at the beginning, which remember, was in a random house like an airbnb. They turn off all the lights (for aesthetic), and end up lighting a bunch of candles. WHERE DID THE CANDLES COME FROM?
But I digress - let’s chat about the actual tarot readings in the film.
The Tarot Readings
Haley does a Tarot spread using 12 cards in a circle which she says represents the zodiac, with a card in the middle to set the theme of the reading. As a Tarot reader I’m already internally groaning at the amount of cards she’s using for one spread, plus she’ll do that for every single person present? Good luck babes.
Immediately off the bat, Haley says that the high priestess reversed says to slow down as she could cause you to slip up and cause you a crushing blow.
Now this is a horror movie so I get it, they're setting up this characters supposed death which must have been picked out with zero concern for the cards meaning because that is NOT what the high priestess reversed means.
None of the other cards seem to be read in the spread? Just the center card.
Why bother pulling 13 freaking cards?
In the second reading for the movie, we see the Hanged Man in the center which Haley says is about ultimate surrender which is correct. She also, gives a good Mercury Retrograde description and a pretty decent Pisces description too.
Next up is the Fool reversed which Haley says is a warning not to act on impulse, yes, this is an accurate meaning for the Fool card reversed.
Now she gives more deets to her spread saying “Judgement is in the 4th house don't be surprised if you're feeling trapped or closed in”. So the outside circle of cards isn't "the zodiac" like she said in the beginning, but the houses of life areas - okay that’s fine (it’s a legitimate tarot spread) except Judgement in the 4th house does not equal trapped or closed in.
My girl Haley is definitely giving some doom and gloom vibes with her readings. They are quick and very shallow. She says she uses the deck to read the stars and that she's reading the horoscope but this is more like a tarot scope than anything actually astrological which would require more than a sun sign.
What Happens?
Party is over, tarot readings finish and everyone goes home except one girl, the first one who had the High Priestess reversed. She hears a noise, and finds the ceiling ladder down in the hallway but ignores it and goes to bed anyway.
AS IF you find the ceiling ladder down and just go to bed!
So now for the moment of truth. Will my personal horror movie prediction come true? Will the incorrect card meaning just be the death description?
Crushing blow from the high priestess? Yep. She slips and gets crushed by the ladder. We see lots of upside down crucifixes too. Why?
I have lots of questions around the magic or reasoning behind why this is happening.
There are lots of loud sudden noises for jump scares of course. Nothing new here. It's the type of horror that relies on jump scares, noise and shock rather than tension. I am personally annoyed with modern horror movies relying on fast movements and bone snapping sounds. It's not scary it's startling which is not the same thing.
Haley seems to believe "You can't change fate" - and I definitely don't agree with that personally, but maybe in the movie context I can see why they want to really harp on about the fact. Like, you can’t escape what the cards show for you. As a professional reader though, I disagree. As Theresa Reed always says “The cards tell a story, but you write the ending.”
ASTROLOGY
This movie seems to really be keen on combining astrology with their Tarot, which yes babes I love doing that too - but yikes!
Honestly, the character who is supposedly a Leo is the one acting like a Capricorn and Haley keeps saying Capricorns are rule breakers… I think she's getting confused with Aquarius. Who the hell consulted on this show?
After hearing of the deaths of their friends, the rest of the group wants to know how they can avoid their fate so they google one word: "horoscope" and find all these hits for one person pop up. What is her SEO secret? They somehow access her address which is weirdly public on her website and she’s supposedly a joke in the astro community, and I can see why.
The lady's got the crazy wall behind her! You know the type…
Everyone keeps saying horoscope and I don't think they know what that word actually means.
Something I do like though is that they make a clear distinction about the issue being with this one specific deck rather than all Tarot which was a concern of mine. We don’t need more demonisation of the Tarot craft.
At one point the crazy astrologer lady says "Combining horoscopes and tarot, is the most powerful form of divination known to man" and I no joke, audibly laughed at that, and I was on a plane so that was embarrassing.
At one point they reference someone using this haunted tarot deck in the 1700s which is highly unlikely in terms of the history of Tarot. There are ‘some’ sources that say Tarot was around in the late 18th century but it really wasn’t until the 19th century that Tarot cards were being used for divination.
Another gripe is that they keep using the death card to mean literal death. Whilst they do say it can mean the end of something or the start of something new, of course for a horror movie it is an actual death.
Why is the deck bad?
Finally, we get to the crux of the issue. Apparently in the 1700s a famous astrologer performed some dark ritual, killing herself and binding her soul to the cards sealing their fate and hers. A death curse. Not long after, everyone she'd done a reading for ended up dead because she cursed the cards and "inverted the zodiac" whatever that means.
The deck was originally from Hungary, yet they ended up in New York State? And that Crazy astrologer just happened to be in driving distance from them?
Unfortunately, whilst the quality of filming etc. is good, the script writing for dialogue sucks. Lots of "omg what is that, what are you doing? Why is the car stopping?".
The last three friends left in the group return to the original airbnb house to get rid of the deck. They throw it on a fire and it doesn’t burn.
Crazy astrologer lady is back. She's drawn a white zodiac circle on the floor, and has put corresponding crystals around the deck too. She invokes the original astrologer from the 1700s, and of course her nose starts bleeding, followed by her eyes - for the drama.
The dead ladies spirit pulls out the cards and reads her horoscope.
6 of swords.
Crazy astrologer lady ends up dying with 6 swords in her back which is honestly more of a 10 of swords thing.
Things ramp up at about the hour mark. Actually, the pacing is pretty good the whole way through.
Moral of the story seems to be “don't fuck with astrologers” and yeah I can vibe with that!
Cards finally light on fire too. Also, how TF you explaining this to the police now?
Do I recommend it?
I give this move 3 out of 5 witches hats.
Overall, lightly entertaining. But must be watched with a grain of salt.
Weirdly some accurate info interspersed between terrible terrible info.
Again, who the hell consulted on this?
My witches’ hats rating system:
0 - Problematic, this movie should be burned.
1 - Did not like this movie, do not watch
2 - It was ok, wouldn’t recommend it though.
3 - I liked it but it might not be for everyone
4 - I really liked it and think most people will like it
5 - AMAZING, I loved it and everyone should watch it
Meet Hana
Hana O’Neill, the Suburban Witch is a professional Tarot & Astrology reader, Intuitive Coach and the host of the Witch Talks podcast.
